Mom's Time Out

The older children will tease each other, laugh at one another's problems, throw away one another's toys, and tell other youth group members what their brother's pet name was as a baby. We talk to them over and over again to treat each other the way they want to be treated themselves.

"What is the golden rule?" I ask.

"Happy Meals for everyone and Dad saves $15 bucks?"

"No, that's the golden arches. I'm asking what is the Golden Rule?"

"Um mm." they say followed by blank stares.

"Do unto others as you'd have them do unto you." I say.

"Eh?"

"O.k. so King James doesn't work for you. Like I said, treat your brothers the way you want to be treated yourself."

"Oh."

So they are quiet for a few minutes and I think my words of wisdom have sunk in. But no, sadly ten minutes has passed and so the wisdom has gone out the other ears and they need a new dose. The arguing, slamming doors and screaming about how someone's toy is lost starts again.

So finally I do what every parent would do. I call my parents for sympathy. But of course, they have none.

"Oh yeah, you and your brother were the same way when you were kids."

"No no nooooooo. We were never THIS bad." I say.

Then my Dad can't stop laughing. Apparently we were THIS bad. Maybe worse.

I tell my Dad I need to go and scrape ketchup off the wall as my toddler thinks he's an artist and also break up an argument over some Pokemon cards that are about to go down the toilet. Perhaps we could talk another time. Dad is too busy laughing and wiping tears from his eyes to care.

I believe there is a parental curse that has been going on for generations. Every time the parents have HAD IT they pray the prayer that goes like this:

"God let him/her someday have children JUST like him/herself so he/she will know what he/she is putting me through! AMEN!"

Somehow that prayer always gets answered. This is the reason your parents and in-laws bug you to death to have children (after you're married of course). It's not because they want pictures of grand babies on their desk, although I suppose that's a bonus. It's also not because babies are just naturally cute and cuddly, but that's a bonus too. It's because of the payback. The wonderful payback of watching you struggle with your kids so you'll finally know what you put your parents through. Now all your parents need to do is relax, retire, sit back and smile.

So then I think of calling my Grandparents (if they were still living) and what would they say about my Dad's child hood? Or my Mother's? Would it all be the same? Did Grandma pray that my Dad would have kids JUST like himself? Did my Grandmother scream when my Mom knocked over a lamp that someday she too would have children and know what it's like? Did God answer that prayer too? Ah uh? So we are not the only ones living under the parent's curse!

This has been going on since the first generation. Adam and Eve were trying to do their very best to raise Cain (the boy not actually raising Cain which would be something else entirely) and Able. These two would not get along no matter what Mr. and Mrs. Adam did. To top it off they couldn't call on Dr. Phil or read any books by Dr. Fraud or any of the other "experts" to know what to do.

So Adam finally talks to God.

"God! You don't know what it's like! These kids you gave me! What am I going to do? They won't listen to anything I say?!!"

So God smiles, sits back and says,...

"The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, does it Adam?"